—an artist’s book
Our bonds are loosening and we are longing…
Nowadays we are expected to present ourselves “perfect”. We must have a perfect work, a perfect body, a perfect relationship and finally a perfect life. To be able to find a perfect relationship, we must probe a lot of people, but after all, none of them seems to match our expectations. We want to keep chasing the idea of love, but we don’t want to actually fallinto love.
My stories’ protagonist has her/his eyes everywhere – prattling into smart phone, jumping from one message to another texting and sexting, addictively sharing photos to prove her/his own existence, and internet dating whenever it’s convenient. Everything passes fast: she/he can always delete a date without pain or loss and just jump to the next one. It’s the people with no bonds with, no fixed or durable bonds. Nothing is guaranteed to last. Moreover, the bonds must be tied loosely so that they can be untied again, quickly and as effortlessly as possible. She/he is replacing quality of relationships with quantity.
Everything appears temporal and we are afraid to commit ourselves to each other. The less investments we put in others, the easier it’s to stay independent. We keep one foot out the door, we keep one eye open, and we keep people at arm’s length. When things get too close to be real, we run, we hide, we leave. There is always more fish in the sea.
This play becomes like a big construction of a theatre performance. We pretend to be emotionally unavailable. We pretend to be detached. We pretend to not have emotions. We want to be needed by someone yet not wanting to need someone. It’s like a stage where we act as mere players in a momentary stage of our lives. We tend to play our part that becomes an act of hiding and showing ourselves to the other. The line between real and false becomes blurry. Are we seeking for love to be fast? easy? consumed? Love has become an object of consumption. The sociologist Zygmunt Bauman suggests: “We take it, we use it and then we throw it away, we change it for a new one. We consume it. We consume love.”
Published in Amsterdam, 2016.